Rolling in the Snow

I snapped some photos of snow covered trees during the snowstorms last week. Ute saw the pictures and suggested that I might go outside sometime, roll around in the snow, and then snap a few photos from that point of view. What a new and different perspective!

When I first stepped into the snow and started moving, I realized that I would soon discover a new way to sense the earth. I stepped into the snow next to the driveway and it had irregular layers of thin ice on top. I crunched through the icy snow until I reached the untouched areas of the yard where it became easier to move. I learned how to sense the earth in a different way - through the layers of snow that wrapped the ground and trees, through my boots and feet and legs and body. I relearned how to sense my body through the earth in a new way…through the snow.

I knew the earth was there supporting me; I just couldn’t see it clearly or feel it right away. I gained my “sea legs” and walked to my tree and allowed my body to softly fall to the ground. (It wasn’t that far away!) I lay underneath my tree and took a picture through her bare branches toward the sky. I eventually stood up and made my way toward another tree – the one that lost another limb. I noticed that the place where it broke is directly above where a branch broke two and a half years ago. The break pattern is similar. I took a photo.

Then it was time for the real fun. I went up to the top of the backyard and put myself on the ground. I didn’t move at first. I allowed the snow to cradle every curve of my body and I was able to soften and accept the support it offered me. It may have been cold, but it didn’t matter. My body and mind felt incredibly at ease. I could feel every muscle in my neck, back, and hips soften. The world was still, my mind was still. I could hear squirrels jumping across tree branches and when I opened my eyes I saw birds flying overhead. Nothing else. Just peace and beauty.

Until today, I hadn’t rolled in snow for years. After lying still, I rolled like I’ve never rolled as an adult. I’d never rolled as an adult! I felt so silly. I felt like a little kid and I had so much fun!! I didn’t worry about taking a “perfect picture”; I just pointed and pushed the button. It was interesting what came out. I’ve spent so much time in my life only doing things if I thought, or someone else told me, that it had a “PURPOSE” … to reach some sort of pre-determined “GOAL” that would help me “GET SOMEWHERE”. Hmmm. These things can be important. These things are not the be-all end-all of life. How boring. Who decides what is important … what is purposeful, what a great goal is, where is somewhere? Authority figures. Based on what? Society?


My entire snow experience offered me an opportunity to feel completely whole, as the Amy I AM. Who knew that snow could serve as another way to help me reclaim my sense of self as my best guide?


I’m definitely LIVING IN THE LAYERS.