I thought I would post my May Movement Responses on the blog - I think a couple people from the MONERGY workshop were interested. My March Responses are further down if anyone is reading! (This is going to be long...)
May 1, 2010
Unergi Core Support Movement: Elbow Meets Knee
Today I did this sequence outside lying on a towel in the grass. The coolest thing happened. The slight breeze and the sun shining on the top of my elbows helped me and reminded me to sense the kinesphere consistently throughout the sequence. My head felt so light. I added the slight lift of the opposite bent leg and it may have looked to an outsider like I was doing some sort of abdominal exercise because my knee and elbows (and head) lifted off of the ground and almost came together. I wasn’t even trying. I thought I was about to move very slowly as I had been the entire time. Instead, when I initiated the movement, my body just went! It surprised me.
May 3, 2010
Feldenkrais: Lengthening the Arms
This is amazing for my upper back and shoulder blades. I started the sequence with a lot of stress and tension in my whole body and I tend to carry a lot of that in my shoulders and upper back. My biggest thing today -- the first 10 minutes of this recording is a talk-through of sensing where your body is before starting. Today it helped me realize how challenging it is for me to soften into the floor right away, almost like I am afraid of falling even though I know the floor, and the earth, is there to support me. I am afraid of the pain of softening. I think I may have made reference to the physical pain of releasing muscle tension in the past – I’m sure there must be a direct parallel to my emotions and I’m not going to analyze it right now. It will be what it will be. The interesting thing about my experience with this sequence today was that once I regained my breath, I was able to slowly come back into my body and before I even realized it, I was softening…all before the sequence even started.
May 6, 2010
Unergi Core Support Movement: Pelvic Dial
I discovered that I need to completely be in my body before beginning any kind of movement sequence. I cannot just lie down on the floor with whatever is going on in my brain and jump right into it. I need to take however much time I need to let myself feel the support of the floor and the earth and come back to true self. Today I realized that have am really proud of myself for how I have handled myself over the past 2 months. I have been stressed AND I have been okay. Today when I put myself on the floor, I started the sequence right away. I was thinking about my exam tomorrow and I wasn’t with myself in the moment. After a few minutes I realized what I was doing because I was contracting unnecessary muscles all over the place and I didn’t feel comfortable at all. I stopped. I even stopped the CD. I lay on the floor for 15 minutes… breathing… letting go of everything. When I started the CD again, I visualized for the first half and then started moving later on once I felt like I was ready.
May 8, 2010
Feldenkrais: Freeing the Mouth & Jaw
My jaw clenching is a very unconscious habit. I am getting better at becoming aware of it AND it is also very challenging to be aware of all the time. I check in with myself throughout the day and make a choice to open my mouth and loosen my jaw and move it back and forth. It seems like those releases of pressure are only in those moments. I followed this sequence with the CD today and my body was resisting it a little bit. Maybe it isn’t actually a matter of my body resisting it, perhaps it has more to do with what I think I SHOULD be able to do. My jaw wants to click and does not want to allow my mouth to open as much as it could open, but that would require more than ease. I had an internal conflict about DOING vs. NON-DOING during this sequence. If I just DID more, maybe I would benefit more…No, Amy, if you DO then you’re working against the whole process. It is a fine line for me. The NON-DOING side took over and I was easeful. This is an important sequence for me. I think I will be ‘non-doing’ it a lot.
May 12, 2010
Feldenkrais: Easier Reaching
This is the last sequence in the series of Feldenkrais lessons I bought, so now I have been through all of them. Now I can say that each time a new lesson integrated the connection between pushing the foot into the ground to lift the pelvis, which ripples all the way up the spine, making the relationship to the neck and shoulders easier…I fell in love with my muscles all over again! It is just amazing. I’ve noticed that my body is very sensitive to changes. During rest before starting movement on the second side, I am extremely aware of the differences. For this particular sequence, my left arm and leg felt so much longer than my right leg and arm. My lower back felt relaxed on one side and tense on the other. When first started moving on the other side, which involved pushing my left foot into the floor to lift the left side of my pelvis it was like I hadn’t moved that way in years! Maybe that happened to show me that I really need to make sure I don’t let 3 days pass without doing a sequence.
May 15, 2010
Unergi Core Support Movement: Pelvic Dial
I have been doing movement sequences regularly since the beginning of February and I am still amazed at how my body can respond so differently each time. I wasn’t sure what I expect when I started because I did a lot today, physically. My body was tired. When I lay down on the floor I was surprised that my lower back was pretty close to the floor. I had just taken a shower and that probably relaxed my muscles. As I moved through the sequence I sensed less directional confusion than I usually do and I only noticed unnecessary contraction once. I was making fists. It brings to mind that making fists is my other habit. I tend to clench my jaw and squeeze my hands. As I continued, I noticed that I wanted to make the movement more quickly. It seems like repetition and changing direction is what causes me to become confused…and my way of regaining some sort of ‘control’ of my body is to speed up because then is feels like I know what direction I’m moving. I realized that wasn’t helping anything so I stopped and visualized the movement. Then I started sensing very small movements without actually moving. When I eventually started moving, what helped me was visualizing that I was drawing a very small circle on the floor.
May 17, 2010
Unergi Core Support Movement: Elbow Meets Knee
I feel especially calm after this sequence today. My head felt lighter and lighter as the sequence continued and that felt great. Visualizing the muscles in my neck and back lengthening as I lift my head makes an amazing difference. By chance I ended up doing a little experiment. I didn’t visualize my muscles lengthening one time when I lifted my head and pointed my elbows toward my right knee & lifted my right knee. I definitely felt a difference. I felt contraction. I did the movement again and imagined that my muscles lengthened easily into an open U shape, like they were shaped around the bottom of a wooden bowl, and it felt completely different. The movement came easily and comfortably. At the beginning of the sequence when I rolled my head from side to side, my head stuck in several places and was really jerky. By the end, I rolled my head and there was no restriction at all. Zero! I’m not sure that’s ever happened and it was fantastic!
May 19, 2010
Feldenkrais: Lengthening the Arms
This movement sequence starts on the left side and the amount of time spent on that side feels so long. Every time I do this sequence I find myself getting really antsy to just start moving my right side already! My left side felt long, expansive and soft; meanwhile my right side felt twisted, contorted and painful. I sensed myself getting emotional because I had to be with it when I just wanted to move and get rid of the uncomfortable feeling. I think it might be interesting to stop the CD if this happens next time and do a little dialoging between the sides of my body to see what comes out.
May 21, 2010
Unergi Core Support Movement: Pelvic Dial
I realized that I’ve gone into this sequence with expectations on several occasions and this time I recognized it as soon as I put myself on the floor. I took a few minutes to sense my body on the floor and was really excited to notice that my shoulders eased right into the carpet. When I started moving, I moved even slower than usual so I could make sure that I wasn’t trying to get somewhere. I made a much smaller circle with my hips than I usually do and it felt really good. I didn’t experience as much resistance.
May 22, 2010
Feldenkrais: Eye Movement (Unergi Weekend – Saturday)
When I had an external focal point, even though my eyes were closed, I was able to move my eyes with ease. I could sense my hand and each finger and was able to move my eyes back and forth toward each location. It was more challenging for me when the direction was to move my eyes ‘toward the floor on the left’ or if the direction related to my face. I can sense my face, but it is so close to my eyes that I felt myself straining my eyes because I didn’t feel like I was moving my eyes at all. I gave myself a headache. Throughout the sequence I recognized that I was straining my eyes and I ‘tried not to try’ and found it difficult to visualize a sequence relating to the eyes. I didn’t consider just listening. I am happy that I opened my mouth and moved my jaw from side to side several times throughout the sequence because that was really helpful.
May 23, 2010
Feldenkrais: Arm Lifting (Unergi Weekend – Sunday)
Loved this! I need some Cliff Smyth Feldenkrais in my life. Anja, my cello, won’t feel so neglected if, or maybe I could say, when I do this sequence regularly. When I lifted my arms one at a time at the beginning of the sequence, I could sense that if I continued that movement, I would be in pain after a few minutes. One interesting observation, though, is pointing my awareness toward my thumb as the initiating place of movement was the easiest and most comfortable way to lift my arm at that time in the sequence. It reminded me of the time I brought my cello with me to a Unergi session and you talked about that type of awareness as you worked with me. Very interesting. Anyway, at the end of the lesson when I lifted my arms one at a time, I felt like I was going to throw my arm into the mirror behind me because my arm was so light it just flew right up into the air. My shoulder blades and upper back were completely free AND my arms were light. Holy crap! That is prime cello-playing stance! Fear, perfectionism & self-judgment, GET OUT OF MY WAY!
May 26, 2010
Feldenkrais: A More Comfortable Neck
It is interesting to compare how I feel doing this sequence with how I felt doing the sequence above. This sequence involves lifting my arms and putting my palms together to form a triangle with my chest throughout the sequence. I found that my arms got tired really easily and that I really had to focus on softening my shoulders. The thing that confused me is when I was able to relax my shoulders, it seemed to make my shoulders lie closer to my ears and somehow that doesn’t make sense to me. I visualized about half of this sequence. Once I was able to use my foot to push into the floor to help me, it made lifting the shoulder blade a lot easier. It even made holding my arms up in the air seem easier. I wonder how much of my arm fatigue relates to anxiety about holding my arms in that position since I am aware that one of my current limitations is related to pain in my arms / shoulders. I noticed that when I started feeling pain and fatigue, I would put my arms down and take a deep breath, which makes me think I had lost track of my breath.
May 28, 2010
Feldenkrais: Freeing the Mouth & Jaw
Aaaaaah. Or maybe I should say, uuuuuh. My head really wanted this tonight. Doing these kinds of movements with my mouth and jaw while lying on the floor feel very different than doing similar movements here and there throughout my day when I realize I’ve been clenching. My whole head and neck has released tension and my tongue isn’t glued to the roof of my mouth anymore. I had the beginning stages of a migraine for the majority of the day and that is completely gone. I would say more, but I think I’d rather go put myself back on the floor and that is what I’m going to do.
May 30, 2010
Unergi Core Support Movement: Shoulder & Hip Circles
My body is telling me to just stop trying so hard! Well, my hips are telling me to stop trying so much. My shoulders are starting to understand how to do this with ease most of the time. I’m still trying to find my hips each time I do this sequence…and then when I find them we have an interesting little conversation regarding circular movement. I think we’re at the beginning of some sensory understanding. Toward the end of the sequence I found myself make the smallest, smallest circle with my right hip and my left hip (that was on the floor) wasn’t tensed. It was amazing! It was the first time that has ever happened! Usually the hip on the floor is trying to do a lot of work and I end up making larger movements because I’m unable to sense small movements in my hips…because I couldn’t find my hips. I think I need to find my hips daily. I feel like I’m starting from the beginning each time. Hmmm.
May 31, 2010
Unergi Core Support Movement: Pelvic Dial
I put myself on the floor with the intention of doing Shoulder & Hip Circles like I did last night. I planned on doing it at my own pace with one of my ‘healing music’ CDs playing. I lay on the ground sensing my body for a few minutes first. As I started to organize myself to roll to my side, I brought my knees up so my feet were standing on the ground momentarily and I stopped. Instead of continuing to roll to my side, my body decided it would rather let my lower back ease into the floor…and the decision to do the Pelvic Dial was simple. I was already there. I noticed that I am DOING less and less during this sequence. Woohoo! My body really understands this sequence. There isn’t so much brain-thinking involved in making the movement anymore. Tonight I was having trouble getting the brain-thinking to stop, period. My brain was going and going and going about all sorts of other things the whole time. I recognized it. That is good. There were a couple times that my breathing was off and I had to stop everything and check in with myself about breathing. When I focus on breathing my brain can’t think about other stuff. Okay Amy, focus on breathing.
It always comes back to that, doesn’t it? One of the ways I find myself while standing at the table is through my breath. Lying ON the table I come back to myself through my breath. Lying on the FLOOR I find myself through my breath. Hmmm.
Writing these movement responses is so intriguing… I love it!
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